What makes us Humans?

The beginning of something is never easy. It is like when you wait for dawn, from a point where it is difficult to see it. It takes years to build bonds, but seconds to destroy them.

We are human beings, with a thousand infinite fragilities. We hide behind ourselves because we are afraid to live Life. We almost always forget who we are next to. External, internal, social and cultural factors influence our presence on Earth. We are very good at remembering disappointments, but hardly ever the amazing opportunities that life offers us. We fail to recognize each other, not even ourselves when we look in the mirror and when we do, we are afraid of the person staring back. We can see our slightest imperfections, without understanding that it is precisely these imperfections that make us unique. They give life to infinite shades of our being. No stars or clouds are perfect, and still, we are fascinated by them.

We are often not good listeners and sometimes we prefer to run away from what others reflect rather than stay and understand what they are trying to tell us. We are fascinated by love yet fail miserably to understand it so we run away. We prefer the destination rather than the journey.

We are desperately looking for happiness when this soft and great emotion is already within us. We are souls who, rather than look inside first, look for happiness in others and are often become disappointed when we don’t see it. 

Why? I think one of the simplest answers is, we almost always want to be someone other than who we see in the mirror. We want what we can't have, and we begin a toxic cycle of disappointment when those “others” don’t meet our standards. We have too little self-confidence to see our own ability to be happy within ourselves; a possibly raw but simple truth. So, let's ask ourselves, is our journey a destination of happiness, or much more simply, the ability to find it within the uniqueness of ourselves and every human being.

 How to do it?

Just think that each country has ancient and modern buildings. For a second, immerse yourself in a journey. Our first stop is Rome. Eternal city, where if you go to Italy, you will be told that all roads lead there. Italians and tourists can see the beauties and obscenities of the city, and yet we are fascinated by it. So, why not do the same with ourselves? After all, every individual has strengths and weaknesses, but sometimes we are so foolish. Looking at ancient buildings, we are thrilled to see these elements of strength and weakness, as they characterize the monument, but when we have to express a thought or judge on ourselves most of the time, we see something obscene and different despite these two elements being present.

 Humans need to categorize ourselves for survival but I wondered about the word, category. Who are we to categorize another human? It’s taught that diversity is a basis of humanity. But, is this really true? For example, if it is really the case, we would not live in societies where we do not understand different gender identities just because they do not seem normal to us. Or in contrast, why do we prefer war rather than peace and why do we prefer what is normal to what is considered abnormal.

 We look for beautiful moments, when we should learn to live with unhappy moments too because they are part of life, just like when a storm emerges from nowhere on a hot summer day.

I have never been a lover of thunderstorms, yet today, looking at that grey sky, I got lost in my infinite thoughts.

Small and big emotions often hide behind thoughts for ours. Almost always in our thoughts, there are hidden faces, perceptions, and sensations that take us to memories, we sometimes see our fears taking shape more and more behind that cognitive process that takes place inside our mind and within our being. That process that happens within us can make us feel good or they can become toxic. Overthinking is something that characterizes us, it is another process that makes us human. What would we be like without that little process that allows us to think and reflect? Better humans who can truly live life to the fullest? Or worse humans? Just like good and evil we need those positive and "toxic" thoughts to grow. When we are inundated with those endless thoughts, the best thing to do is to listen to them.

 In this land, there is always something that speaks to us. Perhaps, it is not always given verbally, but sometimes even a simple grey sky has the ability to tell you: "stop a second, how are you really feeling?".

 Here's my question: How are you really doing?

 How many times in a day do you answer “well” rather than telling the truth? How many times do you answer truthfully? How many people are able to listen to themselves and tell the other person: “I am sick today”?

 Think about it.

 Being sick is not a sign of weakness. Admitting to ourselves and others that we are not well today is not wrong. We are not like programmed computers who already know the answer, yet even computers are wrong.

 So, let's listen to each other, and let's get lost inside ourselves.

 Close your eyes for a moment, think about everything that doesn't make you happy right now, or worry so much you feel bad. Visualize the thing that weighs on you the most in your mind. Start talking to it. What can you do so that this malaise can be transformed into a well-being? Concentrate. After a few more seconds, imagine throwing this mental image in the trash. When you open your eyes again, feel alive, feel light.

 Living is difficult, but if we start taking the helm of our life in the hands, learning to live life for what it is, accepting losses, fears, challenges, joys, pains, then we can live every day to the fullest, and grow.

A good trip to you who are unique people ...

Arianna Risola